We’ve been through a few “Classic or Trainwreck?” movies together, but those were just the warm-up. Time for the main event. A 1991 action comedy that people love or absolutely hate. A tale of cat burglars, CIA operatives, Vatican spies, and maniacal corporate villains.
Grab your popcorn, and let’s talk about Hudson Hawk.
I’ll try to avoid spoilers, and the plot is a frikkin’ mess anyway, but here goes – the story revolves around Hudson, a recently-freed cat burglar coerced by the Mafia, the CIA and a pair of corporate raiders to steal three artworks by da Vinci, which hide three parts of a jewel that turns lead into gold. Along for the ride is his partner in crime, the wise-cracking Tommy, and the Vatican agent Anna.
What does this film do well? The thing most people remember is the dialogue. Hudson and Tommy have great “brothers in arms” bravado, and patter is hilarious (if a little dated). This is reflected in the other characters, especially the villains Minverva and Darwin, who get some of the best lines in the film. If I do have a complaint, it’s that Huson’s patter rarely reveals character, and the rapid-fire approach can become a bit of a background babble. To be fair, it keeps the atmosphere light and silly, like the fact that the thieves sing while performing their burglaries.
The other strength is the happily slapstick performance by a cast who were obviously having fun with it. Hudson and Tommy feel like they’re ad-libbing their lines, and even the traitorous CIA operatives get some goofy fun. As mentioned, the absolute scene-stealers are Richard E Grant and Sandra Bernhard as the corporate Darwin and Minerva Mayflower, and thirty years later fans can still recite “I have a NEW goal!” speech.
Alright, lets flip the table and talk about some of the awful ways this plot was put together. A strange choice was the “quick transitions”, where Hudson would jump out of one scene and literally land in another. I get that they want to keep the plot moving, but a lot of the time it gives us no time to catch up. Another problem is that the story sets up lots of plot threads that are barely touched on again, like Hudson wondering how he will fit into the strange world of the 90s, or exactly why the CIA work with the Mayflowers.
While we are on it, there are waaay too many characters, no matter how weird and fun they are. It’s hard to keep up, and the plot compensates by arbitrarily killing off a lot of the cast, as well as needing to stop the plot when Hudson gets to Rome to do a second “setup” phase.
The biggest problem that I can see reflected in this crazy, over-populated story is that Hudson himself has surprisingly little agency. He spends 90% of the film being pushed from one situation to another, and no matter how cool and funny he seems, it’s not until the final act that he takes any truly independent action. We could have followed Hudson as he slowly uncovers the plot, duelling with the Mayflowers as the stakes are raised and character is revealed. Instead, the villains literally chauffer him from situation to situation.
Where do we end up on this film? My heart tells me this is a classic, but my head says this is a trainwreck. A fun, silly, light-hearted trainwreck that I will still watch again.
That’s it for this week, as always, keep those suggestions coming and we’ll dive into another terrible movie soon!
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